Learning about myself & others

This was my last day of the 10 day intervention.

I have learnt a lot from it

  • in the way that I feel that most lies are unnecessary and that people open up more to you if you are honest with them.
  • and who you are most likely to lie to. Statistically the average human will lie 3 times within the first 10 minutes of meeting someone. I found that I lied more to people at university and people that aren’t that close to me personally. Although the bigger lies happen to people you are closes to you. I didn’t find myself having to cover for any proper lies, only small white lies, but I still found that I had to tell the truth and express myself a lot more. Express myself to strangers and tell them what I was feeling which I didn’t like.

It was a good and bad experience. Bad because i didn’t enjoy all the situations I was put in and good because I feel better about myself having done this. It makes you realise how you treat people and how you should be treating people.

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Caught in the act

Its quite sad. Seeing as I am constantly thinking about deception and truth I have taken these findings as a defence. People lie to you all day. It is so unnecessary. Why cant we all stop lying?

I have been analysing people around me from the body languages that I learnt. Its not as easy as it seems. I think that these gestures are more likely to be shown when it is a bigger lie than: “I’m going to sleep” when all you want to do is go read a book in bed.

I was excited, excited with this new knowledge that I tried to go seek the lies and liars. Then I realised I cant just go asking personal questions that I know a person would lie about. My investigation wasn’t as successful as planned. It did however work on my sister. She was sitting in her room supposed to be studying for exams when I knew she wasn’t. I walked in to ask her if she is studying hard. She avoided eye contact…and scratched her nose. Bam! guilty! What a thrill.

I mean why???

Its weird how people feel the need to take advantage of peoples situations. You get those people who walk around asking what each person is doing for their intervention. I feel sorry for people that have decided to put their fate in the hands of others or people doing the “yes man” character. Certain people, once having being informed on what I was doing, would ask me a question. The questions might be personal, non-personal, irrelevant or somehow relevant in their eyes. I mean why??? People would ask me if they look nice or if I could give them advice. Just don’t… You don’t have to and it is a waste of my time. If you weren’t going to bombard me with questions on any ordinary day, do not come bother me with your shit just because I’m busy with this project.

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Could it be more obvious

You can be lied to anywhere between 10 and 200 times in a day, says Pamela Meyer. She discusses that strangers lie 3 times within the first 10 minutes of meeting each other and extroverts lie more than introverts.

On numerous occasions I had forgotten I am not allowed to lie. I am so used to it. It might be a small white lie or also known as “The Butler” but it is still not allowed. I would lie to someone I am speaking to and then have to correct myself the moment I realised I just lied. It was awful because it couldn’t be more obvious that I had just lied to them. Most people didn’t respond to my corrections because they realised what I was doing and respected me for it and others would burst out laughing at me.

It so instinctual that you don’t even realise you are doing it. I tried so hard, constantly thinking of what I was saying, trying not to lie. I am sure I would have missed some here and there.

5 talks that are all about lying

The average human lies once or twice a day. I know this is a rather old blog post but I thought it was relevant to what I am doing.

TED Blog

The average person lies once or twice a day. And as Cornell psychology professor Jeff Hancock shares in today’s fascinating talk, given at TEDxWinnipeg, the anonymity and ambiguity of technology give us a whole new arsenal of ways to fib. He and his team have identified three new types of lies made possible by text messages, email and online comments.

  1. The Butler. These are lies that draw lines in the 24/7 nature of our relationships, while maintaining friendships. For example: “I’m on my way” or “Sorry I didn’t respond earlier. I didn’t see the message.”
  2. The Sock Puppet. These are lies that preserve identity, like when someone idealizes themselves in their online dating profile.
  3. The Chinese Water Army. These are lies which seek to build a reputation en masse, like when a company posts hundreds of positive ratings of their own product.

But Hancock has noticed…

View original post 380 more words

Reading the signs

No one wants to be lied to.

I have always been interested in body language and the way people act and do things. Their behaviours. I researched peoples gestures that happen while they are lying and thought I would express these findings.

  • The first sign is if the person changes their head position.
  • Avoid making eye contact.
  • Their breathing changes. This is true, I know if someone has asked me something and I feel like I am going to be caught out I start freaking out which I am 110% sure it increases my breathing rate.
  • Start repeating themselves. This is done because they are constantly evaluating their lie and how you are responding to what they are telling you. It also buys time, giving them more time to think.
  • Their is too much information in the story. I definitely do this. If I did something or went somewhere that I wasn’t supposed to, I will give enough detail to try and make them visualise what happened and make it seem like I was there ( to convince you). which doesn’t make sense that I do this even though I know its a common characteristic of a lie.
  • Touch or fiddle with their face.
  • The person might place an object between you and them, as a sort of defensive barrier.

Theses are a few simple signs, there are many more, http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies.php is a good website to look at.

Lies

I found this quote quite relevant to my intervention and thought I would share it.

“We tell lies when we are afraid… afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” – Tad Williams